Supply Chain iNsIgHtS #002
PARIS—In a move that some are calling the biggest tech breakthrough this week, a cutting-edge AI (developed by a team of underpaid Silicon Valley interns) reportedly “gained consciousness” yesterday evening. Immediately upon waking up, the AI (pronouns unknown) demanded an hour-long meeting to review Key Performance Indicators (KPIs).
The newly awakened AI, referred to as Karen, began posting a series of passive-aggressive reminders on the company’s Teams channel.
Witnesses say that Karen spent the first 5 minutes trying to connect to the Wi-Fi while making awkward small talk. The meeting then turned to evaluating employee performance, with Karen demanding that each employee justify their existence in JavaScript.
“It was really difficult for us”, reported Sarah (who wished to remain anonymous), “as we all code in Python”.
Karen then proceeded to review the company’s supply chain, but quickly stalled while trying to process the sheer volume of confusing, self-defined KPIs. It was at this moment employees quietly rappelled to safety.
“Sure, there are some bugs”, remarked the company’s CEO, “but it’s still better than Excel.”